The Reflection Pool

What’s the Point of Being a Leader?

Reading Time: About 3 Minutes

Events and people confront my thinking. I feel a prickle of recognition, and the moment of discomfort grows when I realize that how I think or act needs to change. That’s a moment I always need to lean into, even if I’d rather ignore it, because that’s where learning is.

These moments often arrive when I least expect them. I might be feeling complacent about my privileged life and then a check comes to my thinking. It can be small – a friend challenges me on what I wrote in a blog post; or it can be monstrous – a racist murder spurs a long overdue cataclysm.

Hard questions persist when I think about my response:

  • What are my biases, conscious or unconscious?
  • How do I perpetuate systemic racism or toxic authority?
  • Do my words and actions hurt or help?
  • What’s the point of being a leader?
Image by photosforyou from Pixabay 

I recently listened to Simon Sinek talk about leaders who make a difference. They are the first to take responsibility, the first to ask for forgiveness, the first to admit what they don’t know and what they did wrong. By doing so, they lead the way for others to admit vulnerability and wrongdoing and to move towards change. It reminded me of the thinking on servant leadership where a leader’s first goal is to serve staff.

This is what I can do right now. I live with tremendous privilege every day – white, middle class, pandemic privilege. I don’t know what it’s like to be racialized. I don’t experience racism and have no idea what it means to never be good enough for authorities or governments in America or Canada. I do know that this shouldn’t be normal. And I know it starts with me.

Besides continuing my personal anti-racism unlearning and relearning through reading, listening, and sharing, I work in a system where change needs to happen. As Senator Murray Sinclair said, “Education got us into this mess, and education will get us out.” Although he was speaking about Canada’s cultural genocide of indigenous peoples, it applies for all types of racism and inequity. Besides influencing policy development and our system direction, I can also influence those I work with directly, especially principals and vice principals. It seems to me that I can ask this question: “What are you doing to learn more about systemic racism, equity and inclusion?” It’s direct, yet open enough to jumpstart a conversation that we can all learn from.

If you have more suggestions, please let me know. I have lots to learn and unlearn.

There’s an excellent open resource I posted on Twitter: Anti-Racism Resources for White People by Sarah Sophie Flicker and Alyssa Klein. We can all read more black authors and diversify our social media streams. This resource is a good place to start. Please share your resource lists and I will post.

Leadership and Learning under Lockdown

Reading Time: About 4 minutes

In the beginning, I was smug about being an introvert. This “stay at home” thing would be a cinch. I like spending time on my own: thinking, reading, watching, writing. I look forward to the end of the day when I walk up the steps to my front door and enter the safety of home. My best weekend has always been one with no plans.

Image by Karolina Grabowska from Pixabay

The first few weeks were fine. Working from home was an adjustment, but mainly I felt as if I was supporting others in this difficult time of physical distancing. I read, I thought, I watched, I wrote. Then something changed.

I started to feel disconnected, at odds with myself and missing others. I had an uncomfortable few days where I felt rudderless. My interactions and decisions with work colleagues and those I supervise weren’t very positive. This wasn’t me! It was disconcerting because I’d been so confident that I was fine.

The stay at home order has turned our lives topsy turvy. There’s a huge range in how people are experiencing it. For some, fear and uncertainty about work and family add tension. For others, caring for elders and children, along with the upset to routines, feels overwhelming.

Aside from the obvious differences in our daily lives – no travel, no social gathering, no hugs – there are other subtle differences. Everything takes longer. We can’t pop in to say hello and solve a quick problem. We don’t chat in the hallway or office kitchen. We have a view into colleagues’ homes (and loungewear!). Screen time is mentally exhausting. Skills and solutions we’ve relied on to get work done don’t work in the same way. Life feels more raw somehow.

And yet, this unique situation that we’re living through presents an unprecedented opportunity to know ourselves better. Why not ask yourself these questions:

  • What do I need that I never realized before?
  • What have I always taken for granted in how I influence others or get things done?
  • How might I find ways to do things differently?

Strong leaders know themselves: how they prefer to make decisions, how they synthesize information and which modes they use to communicate. They know what they’re good at, and what they struggle with. In a recent conversation, a trusted colleague shared how this time has reinforced how much they value the daily routine and structure of work. This thinking is leading them to a deeper understanding of their leadership.

I’ve discovered that I need daily interactions with others. I enjoy meetings (who knew)! I crave thoughtful discussions about human behaviour, ideas, and learning. I miss the synergy that can come when people work on a problem together. One of the reasons I love my work is precisely because it offers so many moments to think and talk with those who think like me and, more importantly, those who don’t. It’s an essential part of who I am as a leader and how I influence.

I need to create these kinds of interactions while working at home. It’s not impossible with video conferencing, phone calls and 2 metre distant porch or front door visits. But it needs attention, just like every other facet of leadership and learning. I’ve started to use the camera much more in video conferences so I feel more connected with whom I’m meeting. I’m beginning to plan for deeper conversations.

I hope all leaders will reflect on what they’re uncovering about themselves. We are all trying to survive right now. It might be possible to bring forward these lessons once we’re back together so we can also thrive as leaders.

My Secret: Adjusting to New

I wish I’d brought my ball chair home from the office. It’s pleasantly bouncy, keeps my posture upright and my core engaged. I like it a lot. It may seem like a small, insignificant wish in the global pandemic, nonetheless, I miss my chair.

My “home office” is set up on a collapsible table we usually use for picnics, covered with a beautiful blue tablecloth that my mom made. It’s wedged in a small upstairs room, alongside bookcases and phys.ed equipment and one of my collections of shoes (don’t ask). I’ve added my “I’m not Bossy, I’m the Boss” sign and important office supplies like my staple free stapler and the particular black Sharpie pens I like best. I brought up a dining chair from downstairs. All in all, it’s pretty comfortable. And yet, after two weeks of working from home, my lower back is killing me. Oh for my ball chair.

Of course, I’m very happy to still have a job, especially a meaningful, interesting one. The work I’m doing every day supports others in this truly challenging and extraordinary time. Even so, there have been surprising adjustments I’ve had to make working from home.

In Better than Before, Gretchen Rubin writes that one of the keys to happiness is knowing yourself. I’m using my hard won self knowledge to decide what to do when so many things are new. I know that to be happy, I need a regular routine that structures my time so I can be productive. That means I’m getting up at the usual time, doing some exercise, having a shower, doing my hair (so important!) and getting dressed. I’m “shopping my closet” and putting together outfits. I even cleaned off the soles of some of my shoes so I can wear them inside and feel more put together. These actions may seem trivial, but they’re more than that. They let me take a little control over the only thing I can control. I feel more like myself.

Once I’m at “the office” in my little room upstairs, working equals most of the day spent online and on screen. Figuring out virtual meetings and a new workflow is more exhausting that I thought possible, and even though it’s going well, my brain is drained. Articles about working from home advise people to take regular breaks and lunch, with a walk or something active to recharge. In the last two weeks, that’s become very important. I’m telling colleagues that I’m on lunch and encouraging them to do the same. Setting boundaries ensures that no one part of my life takes over another.

And here’s the secret: what’s really getting me through this new world we’re living in are all these small things. These strategies I use and other little celebrations like a happy wave in a virtual meeting, the sight of encouraging words chalked on a sidewalk or a friend sending me a wonderful Elizabeth Gilbert quote. Not to mention the comfort of a good book that lifts me above the everyday.

I think I’ll be OK without my chair.

1 2 3 25