Reading Time: About 4 minutes
In the beginning, I was smug about being an introvert. This “stay at home” thing would be a cinch. I like spending time on my own: thinking, reading, watching, writing. I look forward to the end of the day when I walk up the steps to my front door and enter the safety of home. My best weekend has always been one with no plans.
The first few weeks were fine. Working from home was an adjustment, but mainly I felt as if I was supporting others in this difficult time of physical distancing. I read, I thought, I watched, I wrote. Then something changed.
I started to feel disconnected, at odds with myself and missing others. I had an uncomfortable few days where I felt rudderless. My interactions and decisions with work colleagues and those I supervise weren’t very positive. This wasn’t me! It was disconcerting because I’d been so confident that I was fine.
The stay at home order has turned our lives topsy turvy. There’s a huge range in how people are experiencing it. For some, fear and uncertainty about work and family add tension. For others, caring for elders and children, along with the upset to routines, feels overwhelming.
Aside from the obvious differences in our daily lives – no travel, no social gathering, no hugs – there are other subtle differences. Everything takes longer. We can’t pop in to say hello and solve a quick problem. We don’t chat in the hallway or office kitchen. We have a view into colleagues’ homes (and loungewear!). Screen time is mentally exhausting. Skills and solutions we’ve relied on to get work done don’t work in the same way. Life feels more raw somehow.
And yet, this unique situation that we’re living through presents an unprecedented opportunity to know ourselves better. Why not ask yourself these questions:
- What do I need that I never realized before?
- What have I always taken for granted in how I influence others or get things done?
- How might I find ways to do things differently?
Strong leaders know themselves: how they prefer to make decisions, how they synthesize information and which modes they use to communicate. They know what they’re good at, and what they struggle with. In a recent conversation, a trusted colleague shared how this time has reinforced how much they value the daily routine and structure of work. This thinking is leading them to a deeper understanding of their leadership.
I’ve discovered that I need daily interactions with others. I enjoy meetings (who knew)! I crave thoughtful discussions about human behaviour, ideas, and learning. I miss the synergy that can come when people work on a problem together. One of the reasons I love my work is precisely because it offers so many moments to think and talk with those who think like me and, more importantly, those who don’t. It’s an essential part of who I am as a leader and how I influence.
I need to create these kinds of interactions while working at home. It’s not impossible with video conferencing, phone calls and 2 metre distant porch or front door visits. But it needs attention, just like every other facet of leadership and learning. I’ve started to use the camera much more in video conferences so I feel more connected with whom I’m meeting. I’m beginning to plan for deeper conversations.
I hope all leaders will reflect on what they’re uncovering about themselves. We are all trying to survive right now. It might be possible to bring forward these lessons once we’re back together so we can also thrive as leaders.